Introversion

I've never been terribly good with people.
My parents are both huge introverts, so I never really got used to going places or seeing people as a younger kid. Then the whole I'm-a-preteen-and-everything-embarrasses-me phase kicked in and I didn't really want any of my friends to meet my family, so all of my friends were kinda low-key. It just continued until the point where I'm now approaching 16 with no actual best friend and no life outside of school. It... sorta sucks.
It doesn't help that I practically have NO social media. Yeah, sure, I have Facebook, but who doesn't? Tumblr isn't really social, as anyone on there will tell you, and that's about it apart from this weird little blog. I don't have Snapchat, or Instagram, or Twitter, or Kik or anything else. The internet's a lonely place when you know that your friends are having fun in some other bit of it.
So I tend to spend intervals and lunchtimes sitting with the two people who can bear my presence most as they scroll through their Insta feeds and casually snapchat people on the other side of the school, losing myself in a book as they lose themselves online. Sometimes it feels peaceful, and other times I just want to SCREAM that this ISN'T FRIENDSHIP. For all I know, they're messaging each other about how lame I am. For all I know, they're watching hot tentacle porn. For all I know, they're arranging a kidnapping.
I know I could probably have a life if I wanted to. I could probably be on every social media under the sun if I wanted to. But the thing about growing up with introverts is that even if you yourself aren't an introvert, it rubs off on you. Yes, it does feel like you've been punched in the soul when someone casually mentions that they stayed up messaging a person they met two days ago, but it's also somehow really satisfying to stay home and do nothing all weekend. 
I can try, though. I can at least try.